Superhero

I was recently asked, if I could be any superhero, who I would be.  Here's what I decided:

My sister and I grew up playing imagination games together.  We played everything: we constructed elaborate forts in the backyard and we were the Boxcar Children; we traipsed around the house dressed in old bed sheets and we were princesses; we carved out space in our bedroom closet, flipped the laundry basket bottom up and we were restaurateurs.
  

We also played superheroes.  My sister favored the classics (Batman, Superman), while I preferred those currently en vogue (She-Ra, Moon Dreamers).   One of my child development professors recently wrote a paper about the developmental importance of superhero play: a topic about which she loves to speak.  To a certain extent, my sister and I didn’t grow out of our superhero phase for a while.

My sister is a graphic designer and I have always loved to write.  When we were in high school, we created our own superhero Grammatica: a strong, spunky girl with a sidekick bee named Spelling and a keen eye for grammar.   We decided that the inaugural issue would find Grammatica and Spelling saving a town plagued by internet acronyms. 

I graduated with my B.A. in Communications.  I strongly feel that one of the best tools we can give someone is the power to communicate effectively.  I believe this is true for people of every age.  I have taken child development courses devoted to language and I have taken marriage and family counseling classes.  Language is immeasurably powerful.  

So if I could be any superhero, I would be Grammatica.   I would choose her not just for the loyal sidekick or the trusty red ink permanent marker.  I love the idea of a superhero as someone who does more than save people, someone who educates and empowers people as well.  Our concept of Grammatica is so much more than that of a grammar snob slashing through a jungle of errant commas and misplaced apostrophes: she would teach people the skills necessary to be communicatively successful.

Of course, the trust red ink permanent marker would be pretty cool, too.

Flourish & Understanding, or: Why Brains Work & How to Make Them Better

I love brains.  In that regard, at least, I have always thought I would make a rather excellent zombie.  Both of my parents went back to school when I was younger.  My dad got a minor in Psychology and my mom loves to tell of how I would read his neuroanatomy textbook for fun.  I was ten.

Now, I'm pursuing my M.A. in Psychology and I still love reading books about the brain: the functions, the wiring, mental illness, developmental disorders, neurological disorders, memory, fear, love, trust- bring it all on.

I have been on a brain binge lately.  Two of the books I have read recently take a look at the brain in two very different ways.  The first is called Flourish: A Visionary Understanding of Happiness and Well-being by positive psychology pioneer Martin Seligman.  The second is Connectome: How the Brain's Wiring Makes Us Who We Are by Sebastain Seung.

A couple years ago, I took a developmental psychology class called Play: The Importance of Happiness Throughout the Lifespan.  In it, I became familiar with some of the giants in the fields of both play and happiness research.  That's when I learned of Martin Seligman, who is widely considered the father of positive psychology.  As Seligman tells it, psychology has historically been concerned with getting rid of neuroses.  Psychology focuses on the negative: depression, anxiety and the like.  Seligman envisioned a psychology that, rather than solely focusing on the eradication of negative affect, pursues the enhancement of positive affect.  His first theory was outlined in the book Authentic Happiness which has been sitting on my shelf, unread, for the last two years.  Flourish more fully develops the theory articulated in Authentic Happiness.

Seligman's theory is as follows: Instead of being concerned with a concept like "happiness", which is so closely related to mood that one's perception of happiness can be rather capricious, it makes more sense to focus on well-being.  He believes that there are five elements of well-being theory, which are: positive emotion, engagement, meaning, accomplishment, and positive relationships.  He thinks our goal should be to work toward maximizing each of these five elements in our life, thus improving our overall well-being.

Seligman then gives a few positive psychology exercises.  One that I thought was particularly interesting is called the What-Went-Well Exercise, or the 3 Blessings.  Each night, you write down three things that went well that day.  I've kept a gratitude journal before and I think it's a lovely idea.  However, Seligman takes it a step further and encourages you to then take a look at each thing you've written down and ask yourself, "why did this happen?"  and then write that down as well.  I think this is a great idea because it helps us look for patterns, see ways in which people have been particularly wonderful, and encourages us to see ways in which we can have repeat "what went well" experiences.

Unfortunately, the rest of the book goes into the development of many of the Applied Positive Psychology programs without giving us more depth to the well-being theory and the practices we can do to enhance it.  There is a Master's of Applied Positive Psychology program at the University of Pennsylvania.  However, one must be hand-selected to go and the cost is $40,000 a year for tuition alone.  Seligman doesn't delve into his theory too deeply for the rest of us.  While the beginning of the book felt full of promise and the excitement of exploring a new, potentially helpful psychological lens, the rest of the book is only moderately interesting.  We learn that Seligman has used his theories in the military, in education, with leaders of multiple domains, and to create a framework for understanding politics and economics.  However, I finished the book feeling that I was treated to only the sketchiest outline of what those theories actually were.

Connectome, on the other hand, covers its theories rather exhaustively.  Seung's theory is that our synaptic connections comprise much of who we are.  He believes that how our brains wire themselves determines a lot about us: our memories, our personalities, possibly even whether or not we develop autism or schizophrenia.  He proposes mapping the brain's synaptic connections, much as the Human Genome Project has mapped genes.  He believes this will answer a lot of questions about the brain that cannot currently be answered.

And he is the first to admit that much of what he explains is purely theoretical.  Technological capabilities must advance before his connectome theory can be tested.  Seung explains how neurons connect to one another; his idea of how memories are made; and the current understanding of the way genetics, synaptic connections, and environment work together to shape our personality.  He then painstakingly articulates the history of biotechnology and the evolution of neuroscientific theory.

This book snaked back and forth between entertaining and tedious several times.  One of my favorite parts is when Seung compares neurons to an army of paparazzi.  In a truly sublime moment, the professor of Neuroscience and Physics at MIT somehow managed to combine my love of neuroscientific research with my much more embarrassing love of trashy magazines.  Heaven. 

However, I was disappointed that more time wasn't spent covering the connectome theory's potential implications for autism and schizophrenia research.  I understand that this is so new and untested that there's probably relatively little to say.  Still, it was a let down.  Also, the last two chapters were, to use a strictly scientific term, bananas.  Chapter 14: To Freeze or to Pickle? examined the merits and potential downfalls of cryonics (freezing dead bodies to attempt future immortality) and plastination (preserving brains by chemical means, also in a bid for immortality).  Chapter 15: Save As... discussed a future in which connectome mapping could be used to create a digital replica of a person's connectome, thus ensuring that person's ability to live indefinitely in cyber space.  The whole concept gets a little Summer of Love-ish as Seung mentions the idea of people's collective consciousnesses intermingling in cyber space.  It's unfortunate that such a well-researched book was reduced to absurd ponderings in the last two chapters- a neuroscientific version of jumping the shark.

While both of the books had their merits, I would suggest reading synopses and passing on the actual books.  Seligman has a great website www.authentichappiness.org that offers many of his psychological surveys for free.  Seung's subsequent book will most likely be fascinating, once technology has caught up with his ambitious theory.

Day: 65
Currently Reading:
Imagine: How Creativity Works by Jonah Lehrer
Love Always: Harriet Evans

Liebster Blog Award

A couple months ago, I won a sword at a banquet dinner.  That's right, a sword.  And this week, the lovely Krista has bestowed upon me the Liebster Blog Award! 2012 has been ridiculously exciting so far.

Liebster is a German word for beloved. The award is given to beloved blogs with under 200 followers. These blogs are meant to be "the best kept secrets" out there.

I think that this award is super cool :) many thanks to Krista for nominating me! Her blog is wonderful and you should check it out.

Here are the other blogs I would love to give the Liebster Blog Award to:


I Read a Book Once...
Pocketful of Books
A Novel Place
A Book A Week
My Life in Books

These are creative, fascinating websites.  I strongly encourage everyone to check each of them out.

Note:

Winners can nominate up to five other blogs.
Let them know you have nominated them by leaving a comment on their blog.
Post the award on your blog.

Prose and King: Writers on Writing

Blank pages can be intimidating.

Often, I have an idea formed about what I want to write. Everything flows in my mind: I strike the right balance between humor and profundity. I create entertaining stories that evoke surprising yet insightful conclusions. Until I actually sit down to write. And then my compelling intuition devolves into a mental stutter that makes Homer Simpson sound like William Shakespeare. And I just hope that something articulate lands on the page when I am finished.

I have learned, however, that pages with words on them can be as intimidating as those without. I learned this with Francine Prose's Reading Like a Writer: A Guide for People Who Love Books And For Those Who Want To Write Them. I know. What? This isn't Dostoevsky or Sartre. This book is about doing what we already do: this is a book about reading. So how come I put it down so many times the first four years I owned it? Prose's book, for whatever reason, terrified me.

This is my favorite part of the 2012 reading challenge: that I must finish each book I start. As a result, I am proud of the quality of books I have read lately. I kept this in mind as I picked Prose's book off the shelf. This time, I had to finish it. Or else.

And I did. I read it over the course of a week. Doggedly at times, when I was tired. And I loved it.

First of all, I find the way that Prose creates her chapters makes a lot of sense: She begins by reminding us the value of close reading. Chapter two focuses on words, chapter three on sentences. After that, she focuses on: paragraphs, narration, character, dialogue, etc. Also, Prose provides examples from novels and short stories that are helpful and fascinating to read. Prose deftly guides our attention to the elements of the story that are well-executed. I found myself fascinated by stories to which I may not have paid much attention to without the benefit of Prose's expertise.

Prose has provided me with an altered reading style that has depth and even greater curiosity. I have read several books since I've read Reading Like A Writer and the impact has lasted. Also, as an avid highlighter and margin-writer of books, I have established sections that are helpful to me as I edit my own writing. The book has helpful advice and is written in a simple yet beautiful way.

I took a circuitous route from Prose to King, reading several books in between Reading Like A Writer and On Writing: King's memoir and guidebook to writers. The style of the two are quite different; whereas Prose breaks the chapters into elements of writing, King begins with the narrative of how he grew up in love with reading and writing. His series of humble jobs prior to getting his first novel published should be comforting to any beginning writer whose paycheck mocks the concept of a living wage. He then delves into his "writer's toolbox", which looks more like Prose's structure: the do's and don'ts of sentences, paragraphs, and dialogue. Afterward, he describes in great detail the van wreck that nearly killed him.

Here's what I discovered: Stephen King is funny. Self-effacing and hilarious. I read many sections of this book aloud to whomever would listen. I may have texted some of it to friends. As lovely as I found Prose's book, that's how entertaining I found King's. Both are invaluable tools that should have a home on every writer's shelf.

They disagree on certain things: Prose finds the one word (or even one sentence) paragraph to be melodramatic and believes it should be used sparingly if at all. King thinks it can help build suspense. Prose quotes Tolstoy. King quotes himself. However, the books are often similar: each quote Flannery O'Connor. Both authors have an aversion to adverbs bordering on disgust. Each writer feels word choice deserves the utmost attention. And most importantly: they each advise us to read as much as we possibly can.



Days Since Last Book Purchase: 57

Currently Reading:
Imagine: How Creativity Works by Jonah Lehrer
A Drop of the Hard Stuff by Lawrence Block

Not Buying Books: 50 Days In

I can't do things in moderation.

I possess a particular enthusiasm that, in certain circumstances, renders temperance an afterthought. I read a book the other day that quoted St. Augustine as saying "Complete abstinence is easier than perfect moderation" and I highlighted the quote. Twice. Then I dog-eared the page.

Most of the time, the results of my temperament are relatively benign. Like when my boyfriend asked me if maybe we shouldn't find a planner to coordinate our schedules. Three days later, I posted on my fridge a 16-month Shutterfly calendar comprised of pictures of the two of us on our adventures, carefully coded with eight different colors. And in the dregs of winter, I succumbed to the heady mania of purchasing books and my bank account was suffering.

Of course I hit rock bottom. It was a Friday. I purchased three copies of the same book in one day. Granted, one was the audio version and one was for my mom. But those are not the actions of a sane purchaser of books. Not to mention that, in the process, I also bought six other books. From three bookstores. In one day. And uploaded two others onto my tablet. And this was the third time I'd bought books that week.

Since I knew with intrinsic certainty that telling myself I'd stop buying so many books was mere placation, I resolved to stop buying books for 100 days. People in stunt-memoirs always seem to do things for one year: My Year of Happiness or My Year or Living Biblically or My Year of Knitting Dangerously (that one's real). I can't even conceive of refraining from purchasing books for a year- especially without a book deal at the end of in which I chronicle my Odyssean journey. It wasn't until after I'd told all of my friends about my commitment that I realized 100 days ended in May. It was barely February.

I've gone through the typical Kubler-Ross stages of grief:

Denial: I can handle this. I have plenty to keep me satiated. No big deal.

Anger: This involved lots of rage-crying.

Bargaining: This stage reared its ugly head at the Lincoln Museum gift shop where I cajoled my boyfriend into buying me a biography portraying the Lincolns' marriage. But hey, he got a really nice map out of the deal. And I technically didn't break any rules. Right? I mean, right?

Depression: If I temper this one down, I've definitely felt frustrated that I can't buy Jeanette Winterson's new memoir. I am, however, excepting gifts. Have I mentioned that? Okay, maybe I'm still in bargaining.

Acceptance: This is how I feel most of the time. In psychology classes, professors teach you that people fluctuate through stages. That's true even for lesser life changes like not buying books for a couple months.

I think the best thing I've gotten from this experience is the knowledge that most of the books I buy on impulse are the ones that languish on my shelves. My "Books I Can Buy After 100 Days" shelf on Goodreads has been an interesting creation and editing process. Some of the books that I feel sure I will purchase on That Day look confusing and unappealing three days later. Even the ones with staying power lose their sense of urgency. Not overnight. But eventually.

I'm thinking about establishing a "cooling off" period, in which I refrain from buying books for 48 hours to see if I still want them. Like a literary handgun.

Currently reading:
On Writing- Stephen King
Connectome: How the Brain's Wiring Makes Us Who We Are- Sebastian Seung
Sarah's Key- Tatiana de Rosnay

An Available Man

As with many of my favorite books, I found this through a review on the NPR Books website. I purchased it during the book buying frenzy that ultimately resulted in my resolve to go 100 days without buying books (of which I am on day 46. And while I have not spent money on any books in 46 days, I have coerced other people into buying me books enough to feel only modestly pleased with my accomplishments thus far).

I was immediately captivated with this book, which follows Edward Schuyler, a 62 year-old who is recently widowed. As he mourns and tries to assemble a life after the death of his wife, he must also contend with people who try to set him up with other "available" women before he is ready. This includes his well-meaning children, who put an advertisement in the dating section of the New York Review of Books on his behalf that reads: Science Guy. Erudite and kind, balding but handsome. Our widowed dad is the real thing for the right woman. Jersey/Metropolitan New York.

Author Hilma Wolitzer invents a world in which we, too, grieve for Edward and his beloved Bee. Within the landscape of Edward's memories, Wolitzer creates a relationship with which anyone who has been in love can identify: the idiosyncrasies, the inside jokes, the complicit understandings between two like-minded people. Edward often observes situations and imagines what Bee would say. This is particularly funny when he receives a post-funeral casserole with an accidental, suspicious-looking hair at the bottom. Ah! The surprise, he imagines Bee saying. Wolitzer's characters are original and fresh.

We mourn with Edward; but we also cheer for him when he begins to move forward. I have noticed recently that my favorite books tend to be those in which the characters are gentle, introspective people who are kind and funny (intentionally funny or otherwise). Edward Schuyler espouses each of these qualities. I loved to read about him. This is one of the loveliest novels I've read this year.

Biblio Update

I'm looking out my window and blossoms have bloomed on a tree whose name I should know but don't. It's spring break and an ethereal magic has begun to weave its way through St. Louis. It reminds me of the Bob Ross painting show on PBS, as though the apparition of Ross scrutinizes our trees each night and says "now we're going to add just a little green to the edges of these trees. You make your trees how you want them, this is your special place".

Spring break also means that I get to catch up on a few things: reading, writing, my breath. My Goodreads 2012 reading challenge balefully reminds me that I am 9 books behind pace to meet my goal. However, simply because I have not been reading or writing does not mean life hasn't been interesting. In fact, rather the opposite. So here's an update.

As of right now, I am successfully on day 37 of 100 days of not purchasing books. So far, it's actually lovely. As opposed to being bound by my impulses, I have instituted my own "cooling off" period. I started a list on Goodreads of books to buy after 100 days and I find myself editing it: books without which I once thought I would not make it through the night now look slightly puzzling on the to-read list at all. I think I may institute a consistent "cooling off" period after 100 days are over.

I have currently read 20 books in 2012. Here they are:

1) Binchy, Maeve: "Minding Frankie"
2) Borman, Tracy: "Elizabeth's Women"
3) Browler, Sam: "Profit's Prey"
4) Cain, Susan: "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking"
5) Chua, Amy: "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother"
6) Drew, Clifford: "Designing and Conducting Research in Education"
7) Franzen, Jonathon: "Freedom"
8) Giordono, Paolo: "The Solitude of Prime Numbers"
9) Isay, Dave: "All There Is: Love Stories From StoryCorps"
10)Kingsolver, Barbara: "The Lacuna"
11)Morgenstern, Erin: "The Night Circus"
12)Persico, Joseph: "Franklin & Lucy"
13)Pratchett, Terry & Gaimon, Neil: "Good Omens"
14)Prose, Francine: "Reading Like a Writer"
15)Rehm, Diane: "Finding My Voice
16)Rubin, Gretchen: "The Happiness Project"
17)Simonson, Helen: "Major Pettigrew's Last Stand"
18)Wiggins, Grant: "Understanding By Design"
19)Wolitzer, Hilma: "An Available Man"
20)Yuknavitch, Lidia: "The Chronology of Water"

I am currently reading:
1) Harris, Bob: "Prisoner of Trebekistan: A Decade in Jeopardy!"
2) Patchett, Ann: "State of Wonder"
3) Seligman, Martin: "Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being"

I have also been involved in other lovely things. For example:

1) I wrote my first official lit review: 27 pages of pure mental exhaustion and torture. A couple of days after I turned it in, I received an e-mail from my professor that said "Just wanted to let you know I just got done grading your lit review. It is BEAUTIFUL!!!! Needless to say, you got a very well-deserved A. Wonderful work!" It was probably the single most gratifying moment of my life.

2) I started karate lessons! I can honestly say that karate is something I never anticipated to be a part of my life. However, the opportunity was offered to me and I have a hard time resisting adventure (which is how I ended up at a fundraiser the other night involving bowling and square dancing and was hilariously misrepresented by calling itself "Swing Both Ways"). I have found that I love karate. It is the perfect antidote to the amount of time I spend sitting in an uncomfortable chair, pondering introspectively or pouring through academic articles. The opportunity to take a break from that to kick and hit things is an enormous catharsis.

3) A couple of friends and I have decided to organize a "Cola Crawl": A twist on the traditional pub crawl. We're raising money for St. Louis Arc, a local organization that provides services for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. It takes place March 30th and we have the loveliest fliers and t-shirts.

4) I participated in a flash mob! It was with the same organization: St. Louis Arc. We gathered in multiple places (my group met in front of the St. Louis History museum) and danced to Aretha Franklin's "Respect" in order to raise awareness about appropriate language to use regarding people with disabilities. It was an amazing experience! I went by myself and experienced the immediate feeling of bonding with a group of people. As I am inherently not someone who joins organizations or other groups of people, this was a rare and unexpected delight. Also, we were on the news which was really fun. Post Script: has anyone watched the St. Louis local news lately? It appears to be primarily comprised of footage from people's cell phones.

5) I entered a first-time novelist competition. This was a really cool exercise, because I had to submit 50 pages of a novel. However, my apartment was broken into twice in January and someone had stolen my laptop (among many other things), which had all of my graduate work on it, as well as everything I've written creatively in the last 3 years. No, of course I hadn't backed anything up. So, in the thick of my graduate coursework, I decided to embark on a new writing experience. It was difficult and amazing and I'm thrilled that I decided to do it.

6) I had a real, live crime scene unit in my apartment dusting for finger prints after break-in #2. They aren't nearly as terse and harried as they appear on T.V. However, no one was murdered in my apartment, there were no blood spatter patterns of any kind, and they appear to have sent the high school intern over to check things out. No matter, I was enthralled.

Tonight, I'm going to see Temple Grandin speak and I cannot wait.

So everything right now is an adventure. I intend to read like a mad woman this week while simultaneously immersing myself in the annual miraculous seasonal developments. Maybe I'll even figure out the name of that tree.